Only When You Feel Like It

We all do it. We all procrastinate. We put off doing things we’re not particularly thrilled about. For me, it was several things actually. I’m not very proud of that, but it’s true. Filing taxes, housework, exercising, going to bed at night, and getting out of bed in the morning … all of which I would wind up doing, eventually, but I would still stall just as long as possible. And it took me a while to figure out why I would do that … because I am so happy when I have finished and so glum before I begin. It made no sense. Perhaps I procrastinated because I’d rather be doing something more in line with what I FELT like doing at that moment. But that wasn’t true either because I would rather be doing ANYTHING else … even housework … if it meant I could avoid doing something I’ve told myself would be unpleasant … like preparing a tax return or going to the dentist. It was very confusing.

I have come to believe that the root of my procrastination was fear. And I think many folks share this same fear … a fear they want the least to acknowledge … the fear of success. It just wasn’t part of my comfort zone. Isn’t it odd how we embrace the facets of Failure without a second thought, but will avoid the steps to Success wherever possible? Was I basically lazy? Or just fearful? If I did something well one day, would I be expected to do it equally well … or even better … the next day? And the day after that? Was it a lack of confidence or a lack of discipline? Or both? There was only one way I knew to find out. And that was to just roll up my sleeves, grit my teeth, and power through it … “it” being whatever I was avoiding at the time. And when I came out the other side and looked over my shoulder at what I had accomplished, I had to acknowledge that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Before long, I came to realize that the time I saved by no longer avoiding those things I dreaded could now be filled with activities that brought me joy, peace, and security. Pretty good trade, don’t you think?

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